


Greg has a LOT to Deal With

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Assault, Blow Jobs, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Greg just wants a day off, M/M, Police
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 06:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11777673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Sherlock and John have a busy day in London, nudity, blow jobs and catching a jewel thief, all par for the course for them. Poor Greg has to pick up the pieces.





	Greg has a LOT to Deal With

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AtlinMerrick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/gifts).



> I left a comment on one of AtlinMerrick's fics including this:
> 
> "[Greg] turns up not knowing if it is public nudity, public indecency, disturbing the peace, stalking, assault, illegal firearms, breaking and entering, or one of them has made a citizens arrest."
> 
> Well, then I just had to fic it. Only briefly edited so sorry for any errors.
> 
> Sorry Atlin for inundating you with fic :-)

It started with a single call. Report of a naked man seen in Regents Park. Ok. Partially naked. The woman calling had been very surprised at 2pm on a chilly Wednesday afternoon to see a man wearing a long woollen coat and nothing else. She was rather flustered to recounted the tall man with dark curls showing his, ahem, private area, to another man. Although the woman thought that kind of thing was all well and good, perhaps it was better at home, behind closed doors, rather than when the intended observer was halfway across the park and therefore other unsuspecting people were subjected to the spectacle. A call was put out for any officers nearby to keep their eyes open and have a word with the perpetrator.

Fifteen minutes later two calls came in. One man seen fellating another while he vigorously tugged on his exposed cock. The men had been seen behind the open air theatre in Regents Park. They could have remained undiscovered except for the loud moaning and excellent acoustics leading nearby picnickers to investigate in case someone was injured. The men were reported to have been seen running away a few minutes later, fully dressed and laughing. A few nearby units were asked to do a sweep of the area.

Three calls came in another ten minutes later. A blond haired man was seen in a café on Marylebone Road shouting and threatening the waiter. One report mentioned a tall dark haired man accompanying him. Another report mentioned something about the waiter starting the altercation by insulting the blond man’s companion, but the witness had not seen the incident that led to the insult. The two men had already left but a car was dispatched to take a statement from the waiter and any other witnesses.

Twenty minutes later, a single 999 call. A young woman tearfully reporting two men following her along Park Road from a café on Marylebone. She had ducked into a bookshop but could see them loitering outside and was afraid to leave the store. The suspects were reported to be a darker haired man in a long coat and a short man with jeans. Two police cars were sent, high priority, and the woman was told to stay put with the staff.

Four minutes later the same young woman called again, along with other calls from passers-by. She reported that after calling the police she had called her father who she had been on her way to visit at work. He came to confront the men following his daughter and the taller man had attacked him and possibly broken his nose. The two police cars already en-route arrived seconds after the calls but there was no sign of the men.

No more 999 calls about the troublesome duo came in for another hour, but when it did it caused a major panic for the police. The staff at a car wash called to report two men breaking into their office.  When they had confronted the men the blond one had threatened them with a hand gun. This led to an armed response unit being dispatched along with several squad cars. However, one of the men at the car wash said the magic words “The tall one looks a bit like that Sherlock Holmes from the papers.” And just like that Detective Inspector Lestrade’s day off was over.

Ten minutes later Sherlock texted Greg's phone to say he had closed the De Veres jewellery heist case and that Greg should come and collect the perpetrator from a car wash on the Rosemont Road, Acton. Greg however was already on his way and had Sally checking over all the calls that had come in during the day to see what he was going to be dealing with.  
\------  
Greg arrives at the scene and calls Sally from the car, making notes and feeling his mood worsen by the second. He climbs out of the car and walks towards the office containing the two men with great reluctance. The suspect is in custody and all the other officers are keeping their distance. Greg envies them enormously.

“What the hell have you been up to? We’ve had calls all day about you two.”

Sherlock drawls, “Really Inspector. Must you exaggerate so?”

“I am NOT exaggerating. We have had over ten calls about you pair today. Do you want to know the list of charges we could pull you up on?” Greg pulls out his notebook from his inside pocket, “Let's see, public nudity, public indecency, disturbing the peace, stalking, assault, possession of an illegal firearm,  and breaking and entering. Do you understand how much paperwork this is going to be, and for some reason I am the one who is going to have to do all of it.”

Sherlock rolls his eyes and John tries to hide his smile behind his hand. Sherlock fires his explanation at Greg rapidly, barely pausing to draw breath, “It is quite simple. We were in the park, I asked John to meet me there to celebrate our 6 month anniversary at the site of our first kiss. We were rudely interrupted so we left and went to get coffee. The waiter was insufferable, so I pointed out that he was obviously pocketing more than his fair share of the tips and he insulted me and, well, said some not exactly complimentary things about my relationship with John. John, ever the gentleman, stepped in and defended my honour, he was magnificent.” Sherlock pauses and gives John a fond look before continuing.

“While John was threatening something that is definitely anatomically impossible but nevertheless amusing I noticed that a young lady seated nearby was wearing a necklace that had been part of a recent haul from the jewellery shop robbery last month. She was obviously unaware of its worth, wandering around in a £15,000 necklace and shoes that can't have cost more than £10 is an unusual look. We followed her to find out where she got it from. It was most likely a boyfriend, but father or boss hoping for a ‘closer relationship’ were both possibilities.

“She went into a bookshop and we waited outside for her to come out. A man approached and accused us of stalking. He tried to punch John so I pushed him to the ground and..um...I think I fell on him and, maybe, broke his nose?

“Anyway, we decided the direct approach was best. We went into the store and asked the girl with the necklace where it came from. She confirmed my deduction that it was her boyfriend, a Mr David Alexander, and gave me the address of his car cleaning business. As the police were arriving we exited the rear of the store to avoid being caught up in all that nonsense while we had a jewel thief to catch.

“We arrived at the car wash and circled around to the back to avoid the jewel thieves. We made our way into the office, you have been misinformed about the ‘breaking’ part of ‘breaking and entering’ because they must have forgotten to lock the office, we just walked straight in, didn't we John? It was there, hidden in the _unlocked_ safe, that we found the missing jewellery. It was quite obvious that most of the men working there were innocent, only a select few were privy to Mr Alexander's crime, and it was he that we needed to catch.

“Some of the car wash workers tried to interrupt us but John sent them on their way by, um, yes, sent them on their way. I have no idea what gun they are talking about. Fortunately, shortly after that Mr Alexander arrived at the office and John managed to convince him to come quietly. We made a citizen's arrest, and that is when we texted you.”

Greg closed his eyes, opened them, then closed them again and held his breath wishing to be anywhere else than here. When that didn’t work he looked at the two of them, John looked a little worried, but Sherlock was bouncing like an excited puppy. Sighing Greg shooed them away, “Go, just go home. I'll probably need some sort of statement once I've figured out what the hell I'm doing with this mess. Just go. Please.”

On their way out he heard Sherlock murmur “Maybe would should stop off at that bus stop where we had our second kiss on the way.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this :-)
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
